2022 Plastic Globes: Let's wrap up the year with a laugh

When we look back on 2022, we're going to remember a year that was unnecessarily confrontational.

Russia's invasion of Ukraine. Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the Academy Awards. Every day in your Twitter feed. It was like an entire year of being a kid trapped between two siblings in the back seat of the family car.

Even in plastics, there's been conflict every week. Arguing about whether plastics recycling is real. Protests against construction of new resin and recycling plants.

Wait, there's more. A former association president and its board are battling in court. States are passing tough laws on plastics. Not to mention the Superfund excise taxes that the federal government placed on resin starting July 1 — remember that story? No one could agree on who would pay it, even up to the deadline.

I think we can all agree that we can use something a little lighter to wrap up the year. And look, right on schedule, it's time for our 34th annual Plastic Globes, the awards where we poke fun at plastics-related headlines of the past year. I hope you can end the year with a laugh and look forward to a great 2023. And remember, we're laughing with you, not at you!

TOP SECRET AWARD: To PR legend Richard Berman of Berman and Co. and the Center for Organizational Research and Education, a group that's behind the Essential Plastics Coalition.

I wrote a blog on Nov. 23 breaking down positions taken by EPC, a mysterious group that's been writing op-ed columns to newspapers across the country defending some plastics like PET water bottles, while expressing a willingness to ban others, like polystyrene foam takeout containers.

I asked readers who is paying Berman, a guy critics call "Dr. Evil," to defend plastics. I got a few answers, so I put the question directly to the man himself, and he answers it in an op-ed column in this issue.

The answer: It's a secret. He won't disclose the "companies, foundations and individuals" that provide financial support so they won't be targeted by "radical environmentalists."

I have a feeling that the companies funding Berman are already being targeted by "radical environmentalists" — that's the point, right? But for the moment, they're still undercover.

LEAVE IT TO MOTHER NATURE AWARD: To researchers at Chalmers University of Technology in Sweden, who found that plastic-degrading enzymes in nature are increasing in correlation with pollution.

The finding is a symptom of something bad: There's so much plastic pollution in some places that enzymes that eat the plastic are thriving. But they also noted they can study the most promising enzymes with an eye toward engineering microbial communities with targeted degrading functions for specific polymer types.

JUST CALL ME DAVID AWARD: To Marelli, the auto supplier that combines Magnetti Marelli and molder Calsonic Kansei, which in January hired a new CEO, David Slump. Don't most manufacturers try to avoid a slump?

COLORFUL REJECTION AWARD: In January, an activist investor tried to battle for control of Huntsman Corp. and nominated a slate of board members, including Jim Gallogly, former chairman and CEO of LyondellBasell.

When I shared the news with the editor of one of our sister polymer magazines, he replied: "Isn't this just noise? Unless there is a change at the annual meeting for most of my readers, it's just about a bunch of bald men fighting over combs. It won't change the industry until it happens (if it happens). … It doesn't affect supply, or demand, so I'm going to leave it for a while and see what happens."

In the end, he was right; the takeover effort failed.

I LOVE TRASH AWARD: To Angela Clarke of South Wales, who showed off her collection of more than 10,000 old plastic bags to The Mirror newspaper in the United Kingdom.

She spent 40 years collecting them and claimed they were worth thousands of pounds.

BEST NEW PRODUCT NAME AWARD: To 3D printer maker Wizmaker, which sent us a release on its new machine for making parts with flexible polymers like thermoplastic polyurethane and thermoplastic elastomers. The name? The P1. Yes, it's the Wizmaker P1.

DON'T LEAVE YOUR CAKE OUT IN THE RAIN AWARD: To Swedish company Papershell, which announced a partnership with electric scooter maker Cake to replace plastic parts with paper.

"Baby sea turtles around the world are in favor of it," wrote AutoWeek magazine.

PLASTICS TERMINOLOGY IS CONFUSING AWARD: To the Star-Tribune newspaper in Chatham, Va., which wrote a story about a new plastics plant that planned to make "plastic products such as bottles, injection blows, injection molded parts and solid plastic parts."

WE DID THE MATH AWARD: To one of our reporters, who asked to remain anonymous and took a deep dive into a news release from TerraCycle touting a milestone in recycling Taco Bell hot sauce packets.

"In honor of Earth Month, TerraCycle marks an impressive program milestone, having collected and recycled enough sauce packets to stretch across 13 NFL football fields," the company wrote.

Our reporter noted: "An NFL football field is 300 by 160 feet, or 3,600 by 1,920 inches. A Taco Bell packet is approximately 3 inches. I went and found one in a kitchen drawer and measured. Doing the math, there are 1,200 packets to run the length of the field and 640 for width. The total is 15,600 packets for the total length of 13 fields and 8,320 for the total width."

I've got 15,600 Taco Bell packets in my refrigerator. Call us when you get to a million.

NO MORE 'I'M EXCITED' QUOTES AWARD: To all the companies and public relations people who put quotes like this in news releases: "I am excited about the enhanced value that we are now able to offer to our clients!" (Yes, that's a quote from a real release, including the exclamation point).

Saying you're excited about the news that you're announcing is becoming a cliche. Please no more!

THIS YEAR'S BEST PLASTICS REFERENCE FROM THE ONION AWARD: To satirical website The Onion, of course, for its May 13 Q&A, "What You Need to Know About Microplastics." My favorite line: "Experts agree the only way to avoid harmful microplastics is to be born, live and die before the invention of plastic in 1862."

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THIS PLASTIC AWARD: To Curt Eriksmoen of The Forum in Fargo, N.D., who wrote a column with the intriguing headline: "North Dakotan was the genius behind the 20th century's boom in plastics."

It turns out that Gilmore "Shelly" Schjeldahl, who invented the air sickness bag and started a couple of plastics-related companies, gets the credit for the plastics industry's success. Thanks, Shelly!

LET'S RENAME THAT AWARD AWARD: To CNC grinding machine maker ANCA, which for five years has honored a "Tool of the Year."

RIP AWARD: To George Makrauer, a former plastics company owner who after his retirement became a frequent letter writer to Plastics News. George passed away in April 2021, so he missed a lot of exciting industry news this year. And we missed his commentary on those stories. Godspeed, George.

UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES AWARD: To legislators in New Jersey, who passed a law banning free single-use plastic bags. The result: an explosion in grocery store customers stealing shopping baskets instead of buying bags.

SINCE WHEN DOES GREENPEACE LIKE PLASTICS? AWARD: To John Tierney, who wrote a column for the New York Post headlined: "Even Greenpeace finally admits the obvious: Recycling plastic doesn't work." John, this may come as a surprise, but I'm afraid Greenpeace has never been a big supporter of anything plastics-related.

Happy holidays and thanks for your readership and support of Plastics News!

Don Loepp is editor of Plastics News and author of the Plastics Blog. Follow him on Twitter @donloepp.

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